Well, what strikes me the most is the care and tenderness you’re giving these clothes and not to be corny but what would happen if you gave yourself the same care and tenderness? You love clothes and it’s your business. It’s hard not to get excited about them. Women are so hard on ourselves about things we love. Maybe some of the work is in the reframing. Those feelings you don’t like of that throbbing urgency, maybe those calm a bit when you are gentle with yourself. I think you are doing so well and leading a beautiful, thoughtful life — there is so much evidence here of this and of the people who love you.
Oh Rachel, oh Rachel. You see right through me! I do tend to be hard on myself about a lot of things. It's one of the first things that I learned about myself in therapy, and ten years later I'm still learning. Always learning!
Thank you for reminding me, and thank you for being you. <3
The Kuortane dress is so beautiful! Maybe one way to think about it is that since this is resale, you are indulging in an experience. Coveting, purchasing, repairing and hopefully wearing the dress are an experience. And you allow yourself X experiences a year. You are so thoughtful and mindful in your approach to clothes, it seems like ocasional “entertainment” might just feed your sartorial soul.
In any case thank you for sharing your thought process. Always a treat to read your newslettter.
Thank you for this, Teresa! I needed to hear this. You're right that the Kuortane dress is definitely more than just some random thing I bought. I didn't mention it earlier, but Kuortane is the town my maternal grandfather was from, so there's a deeper connection that I will have with the dress. Even though I've only had it for a few days, I know I will not get rid of it. I'm hoping to acquire the missing parts of the costume at one point or another, and I know that I wouldn't be shopping for them mindlessly. Staying in the right frame of mind is just tough sometimes!
I’m glad you took some time to be with your wardrobe, to interact with it, try things on, and to look at them with fresh eyes, Tiia. 💕
I’m still shopping because I love the in-person experience, and I try to practice “catch and release”, where I look at and enjoy things that are beautiful and desirable but Not For Me, and don’t buy them. I still buy things but not as many, and I have fewer regrets.
I love "catch and release"! I can talk myself into buying something in a heartbeat if the shopping cravings have a hold on me. After a little detox my mind should feel clearer about what I should and shouldn't be buying. Right now I feel like I'm still all over the place. But baby steps, baby steps!
Thanks Louise! I'm trying to distract myself from wanting to shop, and if my past no buys are any indication, it should get easier in a week or two. Here's to hoping...
Those Elena Dawson pieces are so beautiful; I love the brooches. And the dress you bought on Vinted is gorgeous I can see why you were tempted by it. It’s funny how we kind of black out and buy things sometimes before we’ve fully registered what’s happening.
I’ve recently stopped shopping after being a compulsive shopper for awhile and the more time that goes by the more peaceful it feels and easier not to pull the trigger, but I definitely have my moments of temptation. It sounds like you’re on a good path and I wish you strength and luck with it.
The embroidery on the Kuortane dress! So beautiful and what a find on Vinted. I also love the Elena Dawson images you shared, it reminded of a black wool jacket that I had that's far too small now that I gave away - so much dignity in her pieces.
I've been wondering if I need to go on a no-buy because I feel so distracted by the urge to shop and not in a good way. Whatever it is, I'm rooting for you because it's so tough to work through the negative feelings.
Well, what strikes me the most is the care and tenderness you’re giving these clothes and not to be corny but what would happen if you gave yourself the same care and tenderness? You love clothes and it’s your business. It’s hard not to get excited about them. Women are so hard on ourselves about things we love. Maybe some of the work is in the reframing. Those feelings you don’t like of that throbbing urgency, maybe those calm a bit when you are gentle with yourself. I think you are doing so well and leading a beautiful, thoughtful life — there is so much evidence here of this and of the people who love you.
Oh Rachel, oh Rachel. You see right through me! I do tend to be hard on myself about a lot of things. It's one of the first things that I learned about myself in therapy, and ten years later I'm still learning. Always learning!
Thank you for reminding me, and thank you for being you. <3
LOVE YOU, TIIA xx
The Kuortane dress is so beautiful! Maybe one way to think about it is that since this is resale, you are indulging in an experience. Coveting, purchasing, repairing and hopefully wearing the dress are an experience. And you allow yourself X experiences a year. You are so thoughtful and mindful in your approach to clothes, it seems like ocasional “entertainment” might just feed your sartorial soul.
In any case thank you for sharing your thought process. Always a treat to read your newslettter.
Thank you for this, Teresa! I needed to hear this. You're right that the Kuortane dress is definitely more than just some random thing I bought. I didn't mention it earlier, but Kuortane is the town my maternal grandfather was from, so there's a deeper connection that I will have with the dress. Even though I've only had it for a few days, I know I will not get rid of it. I'm hoping to acquire the missing parts of the costume at one point or another, and I know that I wouldn't be shopping for them mindlessly. Staying in the right frame of mind is just tough sometimes!
I’m glad you took some time to be with your wardrobe, to interact with it, try things on, and to look at them with fresh eyes, Tiia. 💕
I’m still shopping because I love the in-person experience, and I try to practice “catch and release”, where I look at and enjoy things that are beautiful and desirable but Not For Me, and don’t buy them. I still buy things but not as many, and I have fewer regrets.
I love "catch and release"! I can talk myself into buying something in a heartbeat if the shopping cravings have a hold on me. After a little detox my mind should feel clearer about what I should and shouldn't be buying. Right now I feel like I'm still all over the place. But baby steps, baby steps!
That choir costume is breathtaking. You sound as though you are doing all the right things to repair your relationship with your clothes <3
Thanks Louise! I'm trying to distract myself from wanting to shop, and if my past no buys are any indication, it should get easier in a week or two. Here's to hoping...
Those Elena Dawson pieces are so beautiful; I love the brooches. And the dress you bought on Vinted is gorgeous I can see why you were tempted by it. It’s funny how we kind of black out and buy things sometimes before we’ve fully registered what’s happening.
I’ve recently stopped shopping after being a compulsive shopper for awhile and the more time that goes by the more peaceful it feels and easier not to pull the trigger, but I definitely have my moments of temptation. It sounds like you’re on a good path and I wish you strength and luck with it.
Thank you, Sita! The first couple of weeks of a no buy are always the worst. It should get easier soon. Fingers crossed!
Glad to hear you are in a better place now. I admire that you took positive action!
I felt that I had to do something! Still feeling the urge to shop, though, but I hope that will pass soon.
The embroidery on the Kuortane dress! So beautiful and what a find on Vinted. I also love the Elena Dawson images you shared, it reminded of a black wool jacket that I had that's far too small now that I gave away - so much dignity in her pieces.
I've been wondering if I need to go on a no-buy because I feel so distracted by the urge to shop and not in a good way. Whatever it is, I'm rooting for you because it's so tough to work through the negative feelings.
It is tough. I'm not entirely sure if a no buy is the right direction to take, but I know that shopping is most definitely not the answer either!
I've never even seen Elena Dawson pieces in person, but I hope to, one day! They seem exquisite to me.
The choir dress is beautiful - I can see why it caught your attention immediately.
I hope you manage to work through your feelings and manage to reach a place where you feel you aren't over buying. I agree - it is hard stuff