Avoid, Distract, Resist; or How to Not Buy Clothes

A quick guide to a successful "No Buy"

If you’re reading this newsletter, you might be a lot like me: you tend to buy a ton of clothes against your better judgment. You have so many clothes you don’t have the time to wear them all, and you still come up with new things to want and buy every so often. You decide to change your behavior at least every other year, and before you know it, you’ve bought more stuff again. You’re drowning in clothes, you don’t have enough space for everything, and you often wonder why you’re like this. 

This is an introduction to a simple three-step method that I’ve come up with during my “No Buy” that I’ve successfully been on since early October last year. Without further ado, here we go: 

Step 1: AVOID

I’m stating the obvious here but it needs to be said: it’s a lot easier to not buy stuff when you avoid shopping. I find that this step is integral in fighting the urge to want new things. The idea is to reduce your exposure to products that you see and might want. If you don’t know what’s out there, you’re less likely to come up with random cravings and be tempted to buy things.

First, you have to stop visiting online stores. Cancel newsletters and sale alerts, and remove or hibernate shopping apps. This will be difficult, because if you’re like me, browsing for potential things to buy is one of your favorite things to do with your screen time. For the most part, you’re “just looking”, and because fashion and style is your hobby, you want to keep up with what’s new. When you have a moment to yourself, you pick up your phone, tablet or laptop and open some kind of a shopping app or online store: maybe it’s Net-a-Porter, Farfetch, eBay, or The Real Real. For me, it was always Vestiaire Collective. 

When I embarked on my “No Buy”, it was shocking to realize how much time I had spent scrolling through stuff I might want to buy. For the first few days I didn’t allow myself to browse online stores for clothes, I’d reach for my phone continuously, as if I was on auto-pilot. I had been thoroughly conditioned to look at clothes several times a day. It took me about a week to break the habit, but once I did it, it has been relatively easy to stay away. I now allow myself once or twice a day to log on to Vestiaire Collective, just to see if I’ve received any alerts for the very specific things that I am looking for (I have obviously disabled notifications). 

Second, you have to dramatically reduce the time you spend looking at fashion or style content on social media. If you are a Tibi fan, this includes Style Class, and if you are a thrift store enthusiast, you should probably stop watching the thrift hauls of your favorite influencers. Mute the social media accounts that encourage you to buy stuff or feed into your need to keep updating your own style. Doing this is not about criticizing or judging those people who buy a lot, because all of us operate within our own, individual realities. We are all different. The sole purpose of muting the accounts that are highly consumerist is to just clear your own head. You can try to re-introduce some of them into your feed after a few weeks, but stay focused. If you feel the urge to fall back into buying, take a longer break from social media.

Step 2: DISTRACT

If you love fashion, it would probably be quite depressing to live completely without any exposure to clothes and style. I encourage you to read physical fashion magazines (I like The Gentlewoman and The Violet Book) or even fashion books. Learn to consume fashion content slowly. You’ll realize that the pace of online fashion media is tailored to speed up your buying. No wonder so many of us are out of control! 

Focus on visually stimulating editorial images rather than pictures of products that you can buy. The idea is to look at clothes and fashion the same way you’d look at a piece of art. You can fall in love with a painting, but you only have so many walls in your home. You don’t have to own a piece of art to appreciate and enjoy it, right?

I like to watch visually stimulating films with great costumes to distract myself from buying stuff. I saw Baz Luhrmann’s ‘Elvis’ last week and the costumes, especially early on in the movie, were quite lovely. (The film itself is nothing to write home about.)

Here are some of my favorite films to watch for the visuals and costumes (they are also very good movies!):

• Vertigo (dir. Alfred Hitchchock, 1958)

• Days of Heaven (dir. Terence Malick, 1978)

• Blade Runner (dir. Ridley Scott, 1982)

• A Room with a View (1985), Maurice (1987), Howards End (1992) (dir. James Ivory)

• The Talented Mr. Ripley (dir. Anthony Minghella, 1999)

• The Matrix (dir. The Wachowskis, 1999)

• In the Mood for Love (dir. Wong Kar-wai, 2000)

• A Single Man (dir. Tom Ford, 2009)

• I Am Love (2009), A Bigger Splash (2015), Suspiria (2018) (dir. Luca Guadagnino)

If you crave color or just something that jolts your creative side, go to an art exhibition or a gallery. Sit in a café and do some people-watching. Go outside for a hike, ground yourself. Listen to music that inspired you when you were a teenager or a young adult, maybe even watch your favorite music videos from that time. I’ve been nostalgically revisiting my late 1990s electro and trance music phase. Does that make me want to wear low-waisted see-through plastic pants, rave tops and gold sneakers again? Not really, but Maxi Jazz (who sadly passed away just before Christmas) wore a mean slouchy suit and I’m inspired – check out the music video for ‘God is a DJ’ for reference. His entire wardrobe in the Insomnia video is fabulous, too.

Step 3: RESIST

At some point actual style needs will arise and you might decide to make some purchases. The trick is to not let a little bit of buying completely derail your progress. (This is important if you’re doing a “Low Buy” instead of a “No Buy”. It’s so easy to buy just a little something here and there, and before you know it, you’ve fallen off the wagon completely.) 

Consider only buying clothes in person, in physical stores. You’re less likely to make mistakes when you can judge materials and fit in person, and you’ll support brick-and-mortar shops in the process if you end up buying something. (Seriously, support your local shops. They will go out of business if you don’t, and it’s no use crying about the lack of nice stores to visit if you don’t buy from them when they’re still around.) If you live in an area that doesn’t have great shopping options, think of it as a blessing. 

Make a shopping list for the things that you need. Don’t shop without one. Only buy what’s on your list. 

Never buy something just because it’s affordable. If you find a bargain, imagine how you’d react if it cost twice or three times the amount. Would it be worth it, would you still consider investing in it? If you frequent thrift stores, try to think what the clothes might have cost when they were new. Would you still want to buy them? If not, you might let cheap prices lead you astray too easily. 

If you’re not sure about buying something, don’t buy it. Lukewarm thoughts such as “this could maybe work”, “I might wear this”, or “I don’t mind this” often mean that you’re not in love with the piece. That’s a definite sign to not buy. Don’t settle when it comes to fit and materials. If something is not quite right, you will most likely not get the wear out of the piece you want. If you fidget and find yourself pulling and readjusting the piece you’re trying on, don’t buy it. Trust your instincts, and if you’re unable to tap into them, don’t buy anything.

When you’re in doubt, resist and don’t buy.

Now, over to you: do you have any additional tips for someone attempting a “No Buy”? I’d love to hear them!