My Current 'Do Not Buy or Wear' List

I like to fight the mere-exposure effect.

When we’re exposed to trends, our eye gets used to seeing them, and as a result we’re more prone to buying into them. Remember when you first started seeing people wearing sneakers with a trench coat years ago and maybe like me you thought that it looked… off? I do. I remember it like it was yesterday. Then I kept seeing it more and more, and before I knew it, I started to think that maybe I should buy myself a couple of pairs of sneakers, even though I am not a person who even likes sneakers. This is the result of the mere-exposure effect. The more we see something, the more likely it is that we begin to like it.

Not all trends are bad. Sometimes it’s nice to try out something different and to challenge oneself. But other times I just know in my gut that a trend is not for me. I might even admire these things on others and often do, but it’s just not going to work out for me, and I don’t want to make the mental investment of even trying.

I keep a list on my phone of things like that, to keep myself (and my buying) in check. Not everything on the list is a trend: sometimes I have an a-ha! moment regarding things that might even be considered timeless building blocks of every woman’s closet (case in point: ballet pumps).

Every now and then I go back to the list to see if my feelings have changed, and more often than not, visiting the list strengthens my resolve: not because I am so confident in my style (god knows I’m not), but because I can feel the mere-exposure effect running through my brain like a pack of wild dogs. I often find myself looking at some of the things on my list in disbelief: “What? I have Mary Janes on my list? How can that be? Everyone is wearing them and they look so nice!”

So why don’t I just go ahead and try these things out? Because in a lot cases I’ve done that in the past when similar things were fashionable last time, and it didn’t stick. It was a passing fad for me, and maybe I didn’t feel like myself. Sometimes I’ll think about my style words and if the trend doesn’t align at all, I just don’t want to spend the money or my mental capital. Most times I’ll let the thought of buying into and wearing these things brew in my brain for a few minutes, and almost without exception I come out of my rumination feeling clear-headed. There’s always a reason why the things ended up on the list in the first place. It’s not because they’re ‘silly trends’ or things that I think are ugly, but they just don’t work for my personal style or my life.

It’s extremely rare that things get off the list once they’ve gone on it, but it can happen. It happened with Birkenstocks. I hated it when Phoebe Philo brought Birkenstocks back in 2012, but I eventually became a convert, almost ten years later.

Here’s my current list of things to not buy or wear:

• Mary Jane shoes

• Athleisure / sweatpants, trackpants, hoodies

• Crocs

• Dad sneakers

• High tops

• Leggings as pants

• Bike shorts

• Corset tops

• Berets

• Levi’s 501s

• Ballet pumps

• Motorcycle leather jackets

• Knit tube skirts

• Pearls

• Bias cut dresses or skirts

• Torn or distressed jeans

• Socks/hosiery in dainty sandals

• Vests worn as tops

• Puddle boots or their look-alikes

• Denim skirts

• Colorful tights

• Bucket hats

• Crochet

• Balaclavas

• Skirts over pants

• Mesh shoes

• Camo

• Barn jackets

• Going pantless

If you see me wearing these things later this year or next, feel free to make fun of me!