That is amazing monogramming by your mother, it's so beautiful and exquisitely done.
Working from home full-time is what made me double down on dressing for myself. I'm epecially inspired by my mum, who was a homemaker (the OG WFH, really). She led by example when it came to these little rituals, like getting dressed nicely and making the bed and having a proper cup of coffee before she started her day. Sometimes this sort of thing can come across performative (the perfect housewife!) but I knew she wasn't doing it for anyone but herself (because no one was around to see it 90% of the time). And having that kind of pride and sense of self-worth turned out to be a valuable lesson for me and my sisters; the effort she made with her clothes was a big part of communicating that.
When she died and we were clearing out her wardrobe, I was in awe of how well-cared for everything was, whether it was a Mango tank top or a custom-made dress she wore to my sister's wedding. I'm grateful that she taught me to appreciate material things and rituals, while never being materialistic -- I still have to learn a lot about the latter.
"Life is a special occasion" -- I love that! Life is too short indeed to not make an effort.
I love having some of my mom's old monogrammed things. The funny thing is that my mom absolutely hated monogramming, and she always thought (and still thinks) that she was really bad at it.
You write about your mom with so much warmth and love. It's so special that even though she has passed on, the things that she taught you live on in you and the rest of your family.
Wow. You have managed to tie together so many things that have been bothering me, simmering below the surface.
I think this is why I disliked norm core so much. And the current derivative...the crop top with leggings. When I see this I can’t help but think why waste the privilege of living in New York and go out without celebrating your style. (I should say that if a person adopted this look as their unique personal style I would appreciate it. It’s the armies of clones wearing a banal uniform that rankles me.)
The ritual of life is worth getting dressed for, I agree. This is why I love Ladies of Madison Avenue.
One of the best things about living in a bigger city is being able to wear what you want! Indeed -- why waste the opportunity? In some ways I also understand the peer pressure to look like everyone else, but sadly the bar to what constitutes 'put together' or 'dressed up' is getting lower and lower. It's not always easy to stand out, and carving one's own personal style can be a real challenge, but I understand what Rachel Tashjian meant when she talked about how we need a new version of The Gap for the masses. Although her approach to the topic was quite elitist, I get what she was trying to say.
Clothes have always been a way of communication for strangers and acquaintances. It is the same today. Dressing in rags is a protest, dressing with dignity is a tribute.
Tiia - this is a thoughtful essay from you. I'm coming, in middle age, to understand clothes as a respectful dialogue with the people around me. I think its post pandemic, partly, and moving to a city where people walk and like to dress to be seen. I work from "home" but I have several outings: first to walk my daughter to school, then I spend my mornings usually working from a cafe, sometimes the afternoons as well from a different cafe, and I want to look good and be recognized even though I don't speak to many people. All the "nice" blouses and dresses I used to wear to work I wear now to work I wear for these many outings, and I put makeup as well (perhaps not for that first walk to school). I find I work better, I focus better because I feel in this way that I'm being social without saying much. Thank you for the link to the interview with Mr Akamine as well, wow.
There are so many opportunities to get dressed in life, so why not take advantage of them! I love that you wear your nice things to your outings. I also feel that I focus and work better if I'm dressed. (Having said that, I wrote this newsletter while wearing my sweatpants, and I haven't ironed my shirts in a long, long time. Sadly I don't always practice what I preach... )
Also, reading through the Akamine interview, I'm noting his gently frayed edges on some trousers. I think knowing when a little fray/wear is telling a story (not so much the girl with the torn armpit, although that is its own rebellious message I suppose.)
Yes, absolutely! Clothes with genuine patina are so special. I am a big fan of visible mending, too. I don't mind at all if there are signs of wear in clothes when there's intention and purpose behind them.
You have beautifully captured everything I think, feel and write about fashion as it relates to identity! I so agree that getting dressed (whether it's to the nines or anything beyond leggings) always connects us to our greatest selves and to more confidence and productivity. And, the exploratory of what to wear — and how to style it — that takes some soul searching. Fashion is so far from frivolous. It's a reflection of who we are ... and who we strive to be.
Yes, exactly. It is a little strange why fashion is given that frivolous label so often. I wonder if it's a result of fast fashion. Clothes have become disposable, hence they can't be important. Historically clothes have always been valuable and important, and they have always been used for signaling our position in society.
Once again, a wonderfully thoughtful post Tiia. Thank you for articulating this for us—your message resonates in me deeply. Just reading this inspires me to commit again to dressing nicely as a ritual act that fills me with self-respect and pride. The notion of taking good care of my clothes and valuing them by wearing them thoughtfully feels like a deep value in me that reminds me of the generation of my grandparents (long gone). Thank you for this lovely reminder. I feel as if my ship just got righted.
Thank you for this, Lisa! Such a heart-warming comment. <3
I often think about my grandparents, and how they almost always wore the same things, but their clothes were well kept, neat and tidy, an obvious sign of respect. Their clothes had meaning, they weren't disposable.
That is amazing monogramming by your mother, it's so beautiful and exquisitely done.
Working from home full-time is what made me double down on dressing for myself. I'm epecially inspired by my mum, who was a homemaker (the OG WFH, really). She led by example when it came to these little rituals, like getting dressed nicely and making the bed and having a proper cup of coffee before she started her day. Sometimes this sort of thing can come across performative (the perfect housewife!) but I knew she wasn't doing it for anyone but herself (because no one was around to see it 90% of the time). And having that kind of pride and sense of self-worth turned out to be a valuable lesson for me and my sisters; the effort she made with her clothes was a big part of communicating that.
When she died and we were clearing out her wardrobe, I was in awe of how well-cared for everything was, whether it was a Mango tank top or a custom-made dress she wore to my sister's wedding. I'm grateful that she taught me to appreciate material things and rituals, while never being materialistic -- I still have to learn a lot about the latter.
"Life is a special occasion" -- I love that! Life is too short indeed to not make an effort.
Hi Lin, can I just say, how you describe your mom with such admiration and pride is really touching.
Thank you, means a lot to hear that. I feel like I’m still learning about (and from her) even though she is no longer with us ❤️
I love having some of my mom's old monogrammed things. The funny thing is that my mom absolutely hated monogramming, and she always thought (and still thinks) that she was really bad at it.
You write about your mom with so much warmth and love. It's so special that even though she has passed on, the things that she taught you live on in you and the rest of your family.
Wow. You have managed to tie together so many things that have been bothering me, simmering below the surface.
I think this is why I disliked norm core so much. And the current derivative...the crop top with leggings. When I see this I can’t help but think why waste the privilege of living in New York and go out without celebrating your style. (I should say that if a person adopted this look as their unique personal style I would appreciate it. It’s the armies of clones wearing a banal uniform that rankles me.)
The ritual of life is worth getting dressed for, I agree. This is why I love Ladies of Madison Avenue.
One of the best things about living in a bigger city is being able to wear what you want! Indeed -- why waste the opportunity? In some ways I also understand the peer pressure to look like everyone else, but sadly the bar to what constitutes 'put together' or 'dressed up' is getting lower and lower. It's not always easy to stand out, and carving one's own personal style can be a real challenge, but I understand what Rachel Tashjian meant when she talked about how we need a new version of The Gap for the masses. Although her approach to the topic was quite elitist, I get what she was trying to say.
Clothes have always been a way of communication for strangers and acquaintances. It is the same today. Dressing in rags is a protest, dressing with dignity is a tribute.
Brilliantly said!!
“Dressing in rags is a protest, dressing with dignity is a tribute.” - wow, I need to think this through. What a quote!
Well said! <3
Tiia - this is a thoughtful essay from you. I'm coming, in middle age, to understand clothes as a respectful dialogue with the people around me. I think its post pandemic, partly, and moving to a city where people walk and like to dress to be seen. I work from "home" but I have several outings: first to walk my daughter to school, then I spend my mornings usually working from a cafe, sometimes the afternoons as well from a different cafe, and I want to look good and be recognized even though I don't speak to many people. All the "nice" blouses and dresses I used to wear to work I wear now to work I wear for these many outings, and I put makeup as well (perhaps not for that first walk to school). I find I work better, I focus better because I feel in this way that I'm being social without saying much. Thank you for the link to the interview with Mr Akamine as well, wow.
There are so many opportunities to get dressed in life, so why not take advantage of them! I love that you wear your nice things to your outings. I also feel that I focus and work better if I'm dressed. (Having said that, I wrote this newsletter while wearing my sweatpants, and I haven't ironed my shirts in a long, long time. Sadly I don't always practice what I preach... )
Also, reading through the Akamine interview, I'm noting his gently frayed edges on some trousers. I think knowing when a little fray/wear is telling a story (not so much the girl with the torn armpit, although that is its own rebellious message I suppose.)
Yes, absolutely! Clothes with genuine patina are so special. I am a big fan of visible mending, too. I don't mind at all if there are signs of wear in clothes when there's intention and purpose behind them.
You have beautifully captured everything I think, feel and write about fashion as it relates to identity! I so agree that getting dressed (whether it's to the nines or anything beyond leggings) always connects us to our greatest selves and to more confidence and productivity. And, the exploratory of what to wear — and how to style it — that takes some soul searching. Fashion is so far from frivolous. It's a reflection of who we are ... and who we strive to be.
Yes, exactly. It is a little strange why fashion is given that frivolous label so often. I wonder if it's a result of fast fashion. Clothes have become disposable, hence they can't be important. Historically clothes have always been valuable and important, and they have always been used for signaling our position in society.
Once again, a wonderfully thoughtful post Tiia. Thank you for articulating this for us—your message resonates in me deeply. Just reading this inspires me to commit again to dressing nicely as a ritual act that fills me with self-respect and pride. The notion of taking good care of my clothes and valuing them by wearing them thoughtfully feels like a deep value in me that reminds me of the generation of my grandparents (long gone). Thank you for this lovely reminder. I feel as if my ship just got righted.
Thank you for this, Lisa! Such a heart-warming comment. <3
I often think about my grandparents, and how they almost always wore the same things, but their clothes were well kept, neat and tidy, an obvious sign of respect. Their clothes had meaning, they weren't disposable.
Tämä hieno tekstisi herätti niin paljon ajatuksia, mutta en ehdi niitä nyt kertoa! Palan siis tänne piakkoin!
Kiitos Mira! <3